Everything In Its Right Place

I have always been a touch jealous of Felix’s room, both in this house and in our old apartment.  He has good taste, loves to mix colors and patterns, and has a penchant for displaying his most treasured possessions on his nightstand — never far from reach.

But something shifted when we moved here.  He went from being a somewhat particular kid, to being an extremely sensitive, overly controlling boy.  That nightstand of treasures that I mentioned?  If someone so much as touches one item on there, he loses it.  And I mean LOSES it.  He struggles having kids come over to play, especially if it involves playing with/looking at/being near his stuff.  Even the mention of someone coming over can send him into a spiral of tears, nerves, and stress.  I’ll admit that he most definitely gets these qualities from me.  I like things in their place, I always want to know what is going to happen, and a solid timeline is my favorite thing in life.  But this is different.  His reaction to the simplest things send me into my own spiral.  I think it’s safe to say that most parents have days/weeks/months where they feel like they are completely failing.  I am most definitely having one of those weeks.

Going through a big move is tough.  Going from having no one to having everyone all at once is hard.  Changing everything about your life at the age of 7 is incredibly difficult.  I get that (and I’ve had to do the same things multiple times in my own childhood).  But there has to be a way to shape my darling, clever, sweet boy into a flexible, go with the flow (at least a little bit) kind of kid.  This is where you come in (especially those of you that are/have an only child).  What tips do you have for us?  It’s not so much a sharing issue, but more of a control issue.  I feel for him because I understand.  As an adult, I can swallow the panic of something being messy/out-of-place/slightly imperfect.  I can (at least a little bit) go with the flow.  I am also working on these things, right alongside Felix.  And it’s hard, but I am praying non-stop that this kid can lead a life without set expectations, that he can enjoy time with friends, and he can loosen up the non-existent control he is attempting to have in every situation.

Remember the nightstand I mentioned above?  That was intended to kick off Felix’s room tour.  So let’s get back on track.

IMG_6048

Treasures  in their EXACT spots.

IMG_6047

Souvenirs from around the globe sitting on top of my Grandpa’s dresser.  My favorite is his hot pink David tied for first with the Mexican cake topper showcasing a bride and groom skeleton couple.

IMG_6050

Enough Japanese Pokemon comic books to last a lifetime along with vintage trucks/campers/wagons and am impressive display of Lego creations.  Those felt bins with leather handles are incredible and hide all the chaos that Legos and coloring supplies bring.  In our apartment, Felix got into the habit of putting his Legos on these bookshelves.  It was great except these bookshelves were in my dining room and it drove me absolutely mad that our books were being taken over by Ninjago fortresses.  Like I said, I know where he gets it from.  I decided he could put his Legos here all day long, so long as these bookshelves were in his room and not a shared space.  It’s working better for everyone.

IMG_6049

We bought a pair of these vintage metal beds from the previous home owners and I am completely in love.  The quilt is Pendleton and has been a long time favorite/desired item.

IMG_6041

Pano for perspective.

IMG_6043

The vintage Moroccan rug came from The Elegant Nomad and is beyond dreamy, faded in all the best spots, and makes for the best play area.  Lastly, a never-ending love of his wooden blocks.  I still maintain that this was the best $50 we have ever spent on any child related product.  Years of entertainment thanks to Melissa and Doug.

And that concludes this portion of the tour.  Stay tuned (subscribed?) for more.

6 Comments

  1. Janice Johnson (Jan)

    Felix is seven going on seventeen. His whole world has been turned upside down. Maybe an adjustment period of less kid company and more cuddling with you and cow. I’m sure he got more attention from you and Aaron at the apartment. Our boys are nine years apart so it was like raising an only child times two. Out oldest still lets us know that the big move to Canada when he was nine was the worse thing he had to endure. My advise is to leave the overwhelming work of the farm go a little and give that time to Felix. Let him chose how to spend it. Talk things out and reason with him. I will pray for him and ya’ll.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kristi

    Hi Brittany! I’m sorry you’re going through a phase. I feel like as parents, when we start thinking everything is running smoothly BOOM!! we get sidelined with a new mood swing.
    I read this earlier and I didn’t have the best advice other than, do not accept his outbursts as the new norm. I also consideredMaybe be hands off completely when he has friends over making him learn to apply the rules he wants (with guidance beforehand). But once I read your friend’s response I realized the old adage of “any attention is good attention” to a child. I think she’s very much onto something with making more time for just the 3 of you. I know you guys are very family-centric, so maybe he needs even more attention.

    Being the parent of an only child basically means you always don’t know what to do. It’s frustrating because their emotions are BIG. We are currently reading/scanning a few library books to work on curbing the “I want…” phase. It gets under my skin to be asked this multiple times in an hour when he was likely given one yes already. Tears at dinner because he has to drink water and not a get a vacation-only drink. Hang in their momma. You’re doing great because you care enough to seek out help (especially before you embark on 2nd grade).

    Also-the library is a great place for the millions of Pokémon books 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mel

    No tried n tested advice – just commiserating on the trials of growing kids. Thanks for sharing! We remain ever ‘envious’ of your style and clutter-free existence. We have the extreme opposite problem and it causes probably the same amount of stress and strife. I think control is something everyone Big/little wants and thinks we have in some measure… control of the small, externalities gives a sense of being in control in a larger sense I suppose? Maybe some big picture ‘God has our back/knows our needs/provides’ conversations with Felix through all the changes?

    And maybe some modeling of ‘hey that thing that is out of place or didn’t go just right… (overly dramatic emphasis: Oh that’s OK!! It’s not the most impt thing, messes are a part of life, life is messy? Lol, that’s sort of our mantra, not by intention.)

    Miss y’all

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s